When the Holidays Feel Different: Helping Children Navigate Grief

Written By: Gabriella Oliveira, MSW, Clinical Counselor

The holiday season can bring heightened emotions for children who are experiencing grief. While this time of year is often associated with celebration and family traditions, it can also amplify feelings of sadness, confusion, or longing when something meaningful has been lost. For children, grief does not always look like crying or openly expressing sadness. It may show up as increased irritability, emotional outbursts, withdrawal from peers, regression in behavior, difficulty concentrating, changes in sleep or appetite, or physical complaints such as headaches or stomachaches. Some children may appear unaffected on the surface, only to express their grief later through play, artwork, or questions that emerge unexpectedly.

It is important to remember that grief is not limited to death. Children may grieve many types of losses, including the death of a loved one or pet, family separation, moving to a new home, changing schools, loss of friendships, or changes in family structure. These losses can feel just as significant and confusing for a child, especially during the holidays when routines and traditions may already feel different. Children often move in and out of grief, sometimes seeming “okay” one moment and overwhelmed the next. This fluctuation is a normal part of how children process big emotions.

One of the most powerful ways adults can support grieving children is by modeling healthy and appropriate emotional processing. Children do not need perfect answers or for adults to shield them from difficult conversations. Often, they simply need us to stay present, listen, and respond honestly in age-appropriate ways. Avoiding their questions out of fear of saying the wrong thing can unintentionally send the message that grief is something to avoid or hide. Instead, acknowledging feelings, naming emotions, and showing that it is okay to talk about loss teaches children that grief is a natural part of life and something they do not have to face alone.

It is also important to emphasize how valuable and meaningful memories can be for children who are grieving. Talking about a loved one, sharing stories, looking at photos, or continuing certain traditions can help children maintain a healthy connection to what they have lost. These memories are not something to push away; they are a source of comfort, identity, and love. Allowing children to remember, laugh, and even feel sad at the same time helps them understand that grief and joy can coexist.

As counselors at UCP, we are committed to supporting students as they navigate grief and loss within the school community. This support may include individual counseling sessions, check-ins with students throughout the school day, collaboration with families and teachers, and classroom-based social-emotional support. These are just some of the many ways our counseling team works to support the emotional well-being, resilience, and overall success of our students across UCP.