Supporting Your Child Through First Day Jitters

Written By: Gabriella Oliveira, MSW, Clinical Counselor

Tips for Parents to Ease Anxiety and Build Confidence

The night before the first day of school can feel like a rollercoaster: excitement one moment, tears or tummy aches the next. If your child is feeling nervous, they’re not alone, and neither are you. It’s completely normal for kids to experience some anxiety about starting a new school year. As parents and caregivers, you have the power to help them feel seen, understood, and supported.

Notice the Behavior Behind the Emotion

If your child has been acting out, withdrawing, or showing new behaviors. Being extra clingy, irritable, or having trouble sleeping might be their way of expressing worry about the first day of school. Kids don’t always say “I’m anxious,” but their behavior often speaks for them.

Try gently helping them name what they’re feeling:

• "I’ve noticed you’ve been a little more upset lately. Sometimes big changes like starting school can make us feel nervous or unsure. Do you think that might be happening?"

• "It’s okay to feel a lot of things at once: excited, nervous, even frustrated. Let’s figure it out together."

Feel free to use feelings chart as a visual guide to best assist you child identify the feeling and give it a name. By giving your child space to talk and helping them name their emotions, you’re giving them tools to better understand and cope with what they’re feeling.

Start by Acknowledging Their Feelings

Before jumping into solutions, take a moment to simply listen. Kids want to know that what they’re feeling is okay.

Try saying:

• "It’s okay to feel nervous. A lot of kids feel that way on the first day."

• "I understand, starting something new can be hard. I used to feel that way too."

Avoid saying “There’s nothing to worry about”. Even with good intentions, that can make kids feel like their emotions aren’t valid.

Build Confidence With Supportive Statements

Instead of trying to take away their anxiety completely, focus on reminding them of their strengths and helping them feel prepared.

Say things like:

• "You’ve done brave things before, and you can do this too."

• "Let’s make a plan together so the morning feels easier."

• "Feeling a little nervous means you care, and that’s a good thing."

Simple Coping Tools to Practice Together

Help your child feel in control by practicing calming techniques before school starts. These can also be helpful tools to use on the day itself:

• Deep Breathing: Take a few slow breaths together: in through the nose, out through the mouth.

• Positive Self-Talk: Teach phrases like: “I can handle this.” or “I’m brave, even when I’m scared.”

• Walk-Through the Day: Talk through what the morning will look like or visit the school if possible.

• Pick a Comfort Item: If allowed, a small object in their backpack (a note, a keychain) can offer reassurance.

• Create a Routine: Predictability helps. Lay out clothes, pack lunch, and talk through the next morning together.

Words That Go a Long Way

Sometimes it’s the little things you say that can make the biggest difference. Here are some phrases you might try on the big day:

• "I’m proud of you for being brave."

• "I can’t wait to hear about your day when you get home!"

• "It’s okay if today feels hard, we’ll get through it together."

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The first day can feel big, but your calm, steady support makes all the difference. Just by showing up with love, patience, and encouragement, you’re helping your child start the year strong—and teaching them that it’s okay to feel, and okay to grow.